


Blue

by Shrapnel_Chan



Category: Final Fantasy IX
Genre: And then this happened and we were both sad, Gen, Hurt, So this was based on Cinna's comment on Disc One about how he washes up every morning, minor spoilers for Disc Two and Disc Three
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 18:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6340333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shrapnel_Chan/pseuds/Shrapnel_Chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How can you find something when you don't know what it is?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue

Zidane used to actually like washing up in the mornings. Then he ran away, chasing a crystal clear blue light.

When he was very small, so small that he still needed help into his chair at breakfast, he thought the light might be the sky: that perfectly crisp, clear summer sky, not a cloud in sight. When he was finally big enough to get himself into his seat, he thought it might be the ocean, sparkling and gleaming and shifting with the winds. 

Wisps of dreams, flashes of memories. Occasionally, a man's deep, croaky voice filtered through his thoughts, whispering about angels and darkness. But how could there be darkness when the light was so bright, so clear? 

If only he knew what the damn light meant.

* * *

 

Blank heard the crash from the other room. A loud and sudden smashing of porcelain, accompanied by a yell of fury. Blank crept along the wall to peer around the edge of the door to see Baku, breathing hard, fists clenched tight in a white-knuckled grip, glaring at the shards of what was once the bowl that the boys washed up in every morning.

Baku was angry. He was beyond angry. 

"That IDIOT!" he muttered, staring at the pieces. 

Blank watched quietly as Baku stood for a long time, just staring at the shards of creamy white porcelain.

A week later, a shiny blue bowl was sitting on the table in the loo, full of clear water with a clean cloth laid out next to it.

* * *

 

It was a year before Zidane came back. It was Marcus who found him, sitting against the fence outside, staring at the door like he didn't know if he wanted to go inside or turn around and run the other way. Zidane froze when Marcus' shadow fell over him, and he slowly looked up at the older boy. Marcus simply grinned and said, "The boss is gonna kick your ass so hard, man." Zidane grinned, and accepted Marcus' help up from the cobblestone streets. 

Marcus' prediction was the understatement of the century.

With Baku's laughter ringing in his ears, Zidane turned to go wash the scrapes up. "Hey, fool." Zidane paused, turned back to Baku. Baku looked at him sadly for a moment, then asked, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Zidane blinked, surprised, then huffed out a laugh.

"Naw, how can you find something when you don't know what it is?"

* * *

 

The bowl was different. 

Zidane blinked at the blue porcelain. When had they switched to a different bowl? Ruby had loved the old one, had nicked it from the King's dining room table because it was, as she claimed, "Jest too darned purty to eat fancy-ass nobles' food off of". It was the norm just a year prior to see everyone fighting to have their turn to wash up, the clear water turning cloudy and darkening with each filthy face until you could no longer see the delicate roses outlined on the creamy surface. 

This bowl, though, this bowl was gleaming blue like a summer sky, like the ocean when the wind makes the waves roll and the surface sparkle. 

He thought about why he had left in the first place, the blue light haunting his dreams with a croaky laugh, and now chasing him into the waking world, after he had finally given up.

He hated it. He hated that damn bowl, hated washing up in it, seeing the others washing up in it, just knowing it was there made him want to run again, a constant blue reminder of his greatest failure and biggest mistake.


End file.
